"A good read... I am too old and set in my ways... but some of her suggestions are relevant, I struggle and have struggled as a single parent never having been married... I am looked down on by many and just over looked by others... but I know God is on my side and I do have a few friends I can talk to... even if we don't "hang out" for whatever reason."Of course this has lingered in my mind all week, especially when I feel I am over stepping bounds and getting in the way of others because I am feeling lonely. Or because I am wanting to do something other than sitting at my house playing games on the computer, looking at Youtube, or Facebook. Really, even though I like to do those things it gets boring and lonely.
Someone told me the other day that I didn't like people and I didn't want to be around people. That is so not true. I love to be around others, just not in crowds. I do not like to sit by myself (all the time), but I guess if that is the way I am seen, that is the reason I don't have many people to hang out with on a regular basis. When I get in a crowd (more than 5 people) I get claustrophobic, and I will usually sit by myself and not talk much. I will usually leave as soon as I can, if I can. Sitting with a friend having coffee and talking is awesome, but not many of my friends have time for that, I guess.
I complained once that it was hard to be alone on holidays and it is very hard. The person I was talking to said, that they would hope, if they found themselves in that situation that they would go and volunteer at a homeless shelter on holidays. Well, I tried that, was told that I was not needed because that had enough volunteers. WOW
So while some of the ideas in the Blog Post above were good, I feel some weren't so good. I think that the single people in a church should start a group together for holidays maybe, Valentine's Day was mentioned... it doesn't have to be a "romantic" thing... just a group to watch a movie. I would not like to go out with a married couple on that day. Having Thanksgiving Dinner or a Christmas Party together with other people who are alone would be good also.
She also mentioned to remembering that your single friends have birthdays! That is a good thing too! My daughter remembers my birthday and I know that at work I didn't want a big deal made of it. I don't want the whole world to acknowledge it that is why it is not on Facebook. But when no remembers it is hard. I have my friend's birthdays in my calendar on my phone so I can at least say happy birthday if I don't do anything else.
Other singles and married couples need to remember that just because a person is divorced or has never been married, and they have children is not a reason not to include them. When I was younger and my daughter was still at home I was invited to do things because of her. I did have more friends I could hang out with because I lived in an apartment complex, yet my daughter usually was the reason I had things to do out side the house and work. Rarely, was I invited to anything just by myself. I don't know if it was because I was looked down on for being a single mom (and I know people took issue with that), if I didn't fit in (big possibility), they were scared I didn't have a babysitter...or whatever. Do neglect to invite your single friends to do things just because they have children.
I am working on trying to get my act together and not be such a "loner" (ok honesty... I wanted to put "loser"). I am trying to invite people to do things, to get out and meet new people. To learn new things. It is hard... I know that people see me different than I see myself (mostly). I know, I am hard to get to know, I have walls, but believe me I don't think they are as thick or as tall as they used to be. I pray that I can find some things to do and friends (new or old) to hang out with... because if I don't... this will be a long retirement....
One more thing, just so I can be clear. I think God must want me to be single which is fine. Here is verse for that:
"But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction." I Corinthians 7:32-35But God wanting me to be single is not wanting me to be alone.
"Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12The third cord in any "friendship" is supposed to be God.
God Bless you! Thanks for reading. Comments are welcomed!
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