Monday, April 6, 2015

A Change

While studying today I realized again how very special the Word of God is and why it holds so much meaning for me.

I am studying the book of Esther along with some other women and technically with Beth Moore since it is her bible study. I am behind in my daily lessons because I simply forgot them with all the busyness I had this past week. Now I am trying to catch up. Anyway, this lesson I am on is about Esther 4:4-8...

"So Esther’s maids and eunuchs came and told her, and the queen was deeply distressed. Then she sent garments to clothe Mordecai and take his sackcloth away from him, but he would not accept them. Then Esther called Hathach,one of the king’s eunuchs whom he had appointed to attend her, and she gave him a command concerning Mordecai, to learn what and why this was. So Hathach went out to Mordecai in the city square that was in front of the king’s gate. And Mordecai told him all that had happened to him, and the sum of money that Haman had promised to pay into the king’s treasuries to destroy the Jews. He also gave him a copy of the written decree for their destruction, which was given at Shushan, that he might show it to Esther and explain it to her, and that he might command her to go in to the king to make supplication to him and plead before him for her people."
The portion that stood out to me was the discussion about verse 4. Esther sends Mordecia clothes and he refused them. There is speculation as to why she did this... I felt being Queen and Mordecia being her guardian she was embarrassed by him. The book said maybe she wanted him to change so he could come see her, he couldn't as he was dressed.

Beth Moore explains that sackcloth and ashes were a way to make a person humble and as one who is dead. It is a noticeable change in status and state. It was a form of repentance. She said, "He needed more than a change of clothes." All the Jewish people there did.... and another statement was "Most of our problems are a world deeper than our appearance." That made me think of a song and one specific lyric in it... God's gotta change her heart before he changes her shirt." (Casting Crowns, What this World Needs).

Too many times we want to change the way someone looks on the outside, so they will feel better on the inside. It doesn't work that way. You have to change the inside to make the outside look better. We tell people who are sad or depressed, "smile, it will make it better". When that really won't help or if it does it is a temporary fix.

I want to be someone who gets this and doesn't look on the outward appearance... I want to see the heart of the matter. I want to be a catalysis of change that God can use in myself and others. I need a change of heart :)

Casting Crowns Song

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Life is a Jigsaw Puzzle

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle. It starts out with all the pieces a jumble… then slowly and with a lot of work the pieces start fitting together. One person comes into our lives as another leaves, we do some good in our lives and we make some mistakes. Bad things happen but those pieces are just as important as the good things. They are pieces that without them the finished puzzle would have holes and not be what it should be.

Little by little the pieces come together, we can see parts forming an image, while some places we still have no idea what it will be. There are other areas that haven’t even started to come together. There are times we think we will never get it finished. Years and years we strive to fit the pieces together. At times we even try to force them together because we just know that piece goes there…. But it doesn't. When we realize that, it makes putting the piece where it belongs so much easier.

Then one day, the last day, the final pieces falls in to place, unfortunately we will not be able to see its beauty, as a finished portray. We will leave it for others to behold. It will be our legacy, it will be who the world remembers us as.

I wonder what my finished puzzle will look like. Will it be something everyone will want to see? Or a jumbled mess with torn and ragged pieces no one will want to behold? 

Art Journal Page for Inspiration Wednesday 2015

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Because this is Me!

Let me tell you who I am...

I am a Christian, a believer, I love with my whole being, and I get hurt easily because of it. God called me out long ago to be different, set apart. Now, to some I am just weird and have strange values, they are the things God has impressed on me.

I became a Christian in July 6th, 1972... that is the day I gave Jesus my heart. It wasn't till much later that I gave Him my life... see I believe there is a difference. many people believe and have given Jesus their hearts and allowed them to be their Savior but they haven't made Him Lord.

I have not always kept Him as Lord as someone very dear to me pointed out a couple of weeks ago and I agree... I didn't.... Now I am trying to live my life for Him.

With all that said let me go the direction I need to go with this...

Many years ago on January 9, 1977 I was in a bad car wreck. This was my senior year in High School. I have many scars because of this wreck physical and emotional. I have no idea what happen, all I know is I was hurt badly and was unconscious for several days.

One of my scars is on my face. At this current time in my life it is mostly unnoticeable because I am over weight. When I am thinner it is more noticeable. My mother wanted me to wear some heavy makeup to cover the scar. I did not want too. I believe at that time God gave me the reason for not wearing the makeup and I still do this day. My mother wanted to hide my scar, my "ugliness"... I believed if people didn't like it and wanted me to cover it up then they didn't really like who I was. I do not wear makeup, I don't need it (I know some people disagree). No, I am not always happy with my looks but guess what God made me, I don't want to cover that up. I don't like makeup, because it is not me!

Then there is the issued with my hair. I have been told so many times by people, who mean well, that I need to color my hair or cut it or whatever... I like my hair long, I like the color of my hair... I did color it once because I gave into the "badgering". It took me over a year to get it fixed... the coloring ruined the texture of my hair and yes it was done by a beautician. God made me, He made my hair.... cut and color is not going to change who I am.... it is not me!

My weight as I said is also an issue... yes I am working on it... people just don't know how much it hurts to hear some of the comments like.... "you're a vegetarian? why are you so fat?" It is hard enough to hear my doctor belittle me.... I am big (right now) but I am trying to lose... but guess what...I am me and God made me....

So to the people who mean well by telling someone what they should do with their hair, weight or makeup... think first, those outward things are not going to change who is on the inside and if it does then that person is probably not very strong. If you wear makeup or cut and color your hair that is great... I am glad you have the freedom to do what you want to do.... And so do I...

you can like me because I am me.... or well.... I still love you :)

Tuesday, January 27, 2015


While traveling Sunday, I was writing a blog post about the things I observed during the day in the airports and airplanes. The observations of the hurry up to wait attitudes and disregard for others. I guess it was not a topic that needed to be posted in the way I was writing about it, because I lost it all.... every word.... it just didn't save properly or was lost in cyberspace.
Of course I am still thinking about the fact that we do hurry too much. Yes, in an airport, train station, or bus depot we may have only a few minutes to make our connections. Barring that we still seem rushed and in our rush forget that we are not the only people around.
And when we do remember that others are around and maybe even stop to help someone else we are not always greeted with thankfulness.... or we may not have a thankful attitude when someone helps us.
It is my desire to be thankful and gracious when being on the receiving end of someone's generosity. And I strive to be willing to help people in any way I can, when I can. It is not always easy.
I don't want to be like Moses missing a blessing because I struck out in anger instead of speaking in obedience (Numbers 20). Or helping out in obligation instead of a real desire to help.
So what did I learn from my observations.... we really need to slowdown and consider all that is around us. We should seek to be gracious and thankful in all we do or for all that is done for us.

Saturday, January 3, 2015


I know it has been a very long time since I have written here. I have thought about writing often. Life's twists and turns have kept me from wanting to write or finding the time to write.

I decided that I would write today because of the prompt for the journal page in the Journal52 group is Pathways and I have something to say about that.

When I became old enough to understand a little about life and God I knew I wanted to follow Him. I was not sure why or how to go about doing that but I started moving in that direction. When I was very young my parents went to church I remember that... then we stopped.... I really didn't understand why. I started going to church with one of the people from my school, the secretary I think (it was a long time ago). I continued going to church with her even when we moved across town. She would come and pick me up sometimes. This was a pathway that allowed me to follow my heart which was leading me toward God.

Later, I began riding a church bus to Church every Sunday. I liked going with the other person but it was hard for her to come get me all the time. This church I was now attending had a lot of children attending because of the buses. The youth group was awesome too. My desire to walk the path toward God and to learn more about Him continued. I went to Camp Joy in Chattanooga, TN with this youth group in July 1972. That is where on July 6th I found who I was looking for, and my faith turned into belief that God loved me and His son died for me.

I continued down the pathway of my life. No, I have not always stayed on God's path. There have been many twists and turns that have come along. Many hurdles to get over, rocks in the road, and mountains to climb. I have been battered and bruised because the path of life is not easy. No one ever told me it would be. Knowing God is walking the path with me makes it easier, not easy.

I have many more days to walk down this path I hope, and I know that there are hard times and good times that will come up. I plan to face them with God's help every step of the way. I pray that God will guide me and all you who read this through life will eyes open, chins up, and the knowledge that He is right there with you!

Friday, June 20, 2014


Today, I read the article in The American Press, "Update: Mixed Reactions to Governor's Executive Order on Common Core", June 19, 2014. There are many things about this article and Common Core that I have problems with, there is one in particular that bothered me.

Near the end of the article Carrie Griffin Monica stated,
"If we are going to start a new school year where we don’t have standards and don’t have an assessment, then our educators have no idea what it is that they are supposed to be doing in their classroom"
Now, I don't know about other teachers... I for one was upset by what she said. On May 21, 2013 I posted  about the word ROBOT...  I spoke of how in today's educational world we as teachers have to go through the motions and teach what we are told when we are told without regard to learning styles, or the child's readiness to move on. Teach the curriculum, verbatim.

I believe if you let teachers do what they do because they love their jobs and their students, without forcing them to abide strictly to a script then our students will do better, and learn more. Yes, we need standards and yes, we need to teach specific things during specific grades, for the development level of the child. Tell us what will be on the test (not exact questions but the skills), then we can and will get the job done.

In years past that is the way education was, there were curriculum, standards, and teacher's manuals. The teachers used their good judgement and the knowledge of their students to get through what was needed for all students to progress. I made it through school and feel that I have done well. I think that many of us who would really think about it, owe our ability to work and function in this world to a teacher who taught without mandates and scripts. We as teachers today can do that too! Just give us the chance. Don't say if we have no standards or assessments, we have no idea what to do.... we do!

Now, I know that I may be way off on what Monica was trying to say... it just rubbed me the wrong way. I felt like she was saying we are incapable of doing the job we were "called" to do without help from the powers that be. So forgive me if I took it the wrong way... I just needed to say what I feel.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Living Life in the Fast Lane

Rushing, rushing, rushing... days speed by and hours tick away, I seem to get lost in all the hustle. It has been a while since I have written, the journey has gotten in the way :(

There have been so many things going on during the past two and a half months. In school, we have given the State Test, I had my final observation (I hate those) and we have successfully finished the school year. It was an awesome year and I can't wait for next year. School ended on May 23rd, and I had one week "off"... I actually spent it preparing for my Computer Camps. 

The first computer camp was last week. The camp was a basic camp focusing on how to use a computer and common programs such as Word, and PowerPoint. I had 4 wonderful students ranging in age from Kindergarten to adult. One of the ladies from my church came to the camp. I think they all had a lot of fun together. 

This week is my second and final camp of the year. In this camp I have five students ranging from 2nd to 5th grade. We are learning to blog. I have them making their post at which is safe and secure. No one can get to those blogs except for us. I hope that they will want to continue to blog and have a voice in the world.

I have also been helping a friend out that does not have a car. She needs to be at work at 6 am, so I have been getting up and taking her. This morning, I decided to stay and eat at the establishment where she works, while I was there I did my Bible reading. This is the first verse I read...
"My heart is overflowing with a good theme; I recite my composition concerning the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer." ~Psalm 45:1
Needless to say that that verse is why I really decided to write this post today. I know I have been slack in doing this and I need to make an effort to write more. It keeps my mind busy, not that it haven't been, just not in this fashion.

As I continued to read I came to Psalm 51:10
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."
This made me think of a song I first heard John and Micheal Talbot sing on the album "The Painter". The choir I was in when attending Baptist Christian College sang it as we would enter an auditorium to perform. I have always liked this song...
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, let me be like you in all my ways, Give me your strength, teach me your song. Shelter me in the shadow of your wings. For we are your righteousness, if we die to ourselves and live through your death. Then we shall be born again to be blessed in your Love." 
I need to slow down and remember to let God create in me a renewed and right spirit, to help me be more like Him.