I believe God put this word here for me today. Yet, there may be some of you who need it also.
It is hard to stand steadfast and strong in the face of life at times. It can hit you hard from so many directions and Satan is good at drudging up the past making standing so much harder. Satan is a jerk, he messes with my ability to see my life clearly to often.
I know some of you are thinking WAIT!... your a Christian, Satan shouldn't be getting to you like that... hmmmm tell that to Job! Satan can't touch my life, but he can manipulate my circumstances and bombard me with my past through outside sources, just like he did Job. Satan used Job's family, possessions, and even his friends, to cause him to become unstable, I am glad he could stand mostly unwavering. I can't!
I can get in a tail speed faster than anyone I know. Sometimes it only takes one thing to make me collapse into a puddle of unworthy mud in my mind. Satan has so many things at his disposal to do this... I try to fight back. I write this blog, I read the Bible, I pray, I quote scripture, I sing.... Sometimes nothing helps! Let me rephrase that... Sometimes I can't feel, see, or acknowledge, the help!
For the past few months I have been dealing with a lot of the very stuff that causes me to waver. I never doubt my God or that He can help me through it... it is myself I doubt, my worthiness of His help. A feeling that I don't deserve anything of worth. I do because I am a child of the King! He wants to give me all that I could ever need and then some. He wants me to live abundantly.... So why can't I!
I know now that this season probably isn't going away by itself, or through my working on it alone. I am going to have to find someone to talk to, yet here is the bad part of doing that... I don't trust people. I let people get to "know" me, I love all people, but I don't trust... That is part of the issues Satan sends my way... he reminds me how many people have destroyed my trust!
I will rise over this, it will take some time. I hope you can be unwavering in your love for God, your love for others, and in understanding yourself! The last one is my problem... but I am working on it... Be Strong and unwavering!
Thanks for reading. God Bless You All!